Colapesce and Dimartino they know things. Or rather: Colapesce knows things, while Dimartino is, like us, the stunned listener who is faced with the predictions of a seer. Or maybe not, maybe Lorenzo Colapesce knows things without having paranormal powers, but due to the fact that he came into possession of latest generation artificial intelligence. Or not even that, perhaps we are no longer dealing with the co-author of the unpublished Splash, competing in Sanremo 2023, but with an alien. Or maybe a clone, but alien nonetheless. Maybe we should ask Mahmood what is the truthsince at a certain point in the short film entitled The whole truth about the Sanremo festival appears on the smartphone of the very confused Dimartino with a video message in which he runs out of breath on a Caribbean beach, ordering him to run away because “they are coming and that is not the real Lorenzo”. And in fact here he is, the former friend and festival companion, with the red eyes of a reptilian replicant, who reveals himself for what he is and tells Antonio that he is beginning to evaluate an extraterrestrial alliance “I’ve seen authors sign a 2-minute piece in 12, creativity is in the hands of the machines, the songs are all the same like tears in the rain: it’s time to invoice”. But if nothing is clear to you, let’s rewind. Starting from the title, which promises, in those 6 minutes (but the arrival of a sequel is certain) to tell the whole truth about Festivalone, a truth that goes far beyond the names of the co-presenters who will be alongside the national AmedeoAnd.
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The video begins with the two meeting at SUCAI, an acronym for the pompous Sanremo Underground Corporation Artificial Intelligence. Here Colapesce reveals to his friend their position at the next Festival (fourteenths, let it be recorded, go ahead and bet but judiciously), with the Cugini di Campagna winners of the Mia Martini Critics Award. But that’s not even the real news. In fact, a very serious Lorenzo announces to the astonished Antonio “that he has invested all of our Siae to develop ‘Jalisse9700’“, a system “that works on heuristic algorithms” that would be able to reveal the participants of Sanremo up to 2050.
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And here they are, the futuristic spoilers we’ve been waiting for: the Nuclear Tactical Penguins feat Don Matteo will compete in the next Festivals, Mohamed Meloni (“but is he perishing?” “the son”), Minghi Belli Rossi, Chanel Totti, Elon Mask and Fedez (“But Musk is written with a u”, “yes, in fact that’s another one”), the 883 with Luigi Di Maio and Elettra Lamborghini with Samantha Cristoforetti. Ah, and Last. Alone. In the edition dedicated to duets. In short, Colapesce and Dimartino, 14th classified in the next edition of the Festival, know how to do it in front of and probably also behind the cameras. We’ll find out on February 20, when their first film as directors and performers entitled will be released The spring of my life, of which Splash was already part. They had put it in the credits, describing it to the Rolling Stones as “a very coherent trace with respect to the imaginary of the film itself. So, without being too romantic: the film comes out on February 20, Sanremo takes place two weeks before, we have this song that we like and that represents us: how can we not put things together? It was perhaps an unrepeatable opportunity. Also because, who knows, we may never make a film again. But here it is: we had the opportunity to be on one of the most important stages in Italy, with something that we feel is very much ours and which at the same time perfectly introduces what is about to come out in theaters”. So why not make everything even more appetizing with the already cult saga of SUCAI?
The video of Colapesce and Dimartino on Sanremo is already a cult